“The court is really telling people in the administration of justice, particularly trial judges, that we have to protect and preserve and assure the public that the principles at the core of the system are being maintained and promoted.” Counsel for Budd declined to comment. My US family court judge has made her bias vary clear. Perhaps co-parenting after divorce just simply does not work. Week later resident parent refuses for no reason, parent who wants contact has to pay another 215 for this privilege. I think this represents a fundamental misunderstanding of the court process. Maybe you need to look deep into your own psyche and ask yourself why you cannot. Leaving it on here like this is going to help continue to spread ill feelings. Family law is biased against fathers, moreover the vast ampunt of substantive evidence, whether that evidence be anecdotal, emperical, data driven, All points in one direction, the a priori maxim, the canonical objective truth, THE FAMILY must me destroyed, AND furthermore WOMEN posses the biological, psychological innate characteristics to embody this ideological axiomatic maxim. You do not ‘believe’ allegations if you are a lawyer or a police officer. How is it that the family court has not conducted a fact finding exercise? We have now come full circle when the only way to afford decent quality of housing is for both parents to work. The National Council on the Developing Child. None of them. If there is not one shred of physical evidence or ‘real’ evidence as testified by a Policeman or Doctor of any of the said abuse in existence, no contemporaneous calls or reports to the police etc., no testimony from other family members,neighbours or medical staff as to injury and so on, then the allegations concerned should be thrown out and the culprit charged with attempting to pervert the course of justice. I am merely pointing out that our gender bias problems are a societal problem that start at the very beginning, which get way out of control by the end when it all falls apart. A simple comment like that can fuel narrow minds easily. mother as primary carer. So too has a mans role. With respect, Sarah, your comment that mine suggest collusion with violent men is just the sort of irrational one which parents who engage with cp professionals are so scornful of. We do need to recognise this as an inherent reality; I am not sure ‘bias’ is always the right word. I agree that the courts can’t really make things much better. I would decide on facts as a divorce judge does. If you are violent, abusive or belliting towards those you purport to love, be you male or female, it is YOUR responsibility to sort yourself out, not your partners. Is it not a mutual creation? Women don’t care because such things are never done to them. As an illustration of the bond, my own now-ex-wife was not very baby-friendly before having children and neither was I. Because I won’t have anything to do with them. Sorry but there you go again – making a case for the differences between men and women accounting for and requiring different behaviours and responses. typo in my original note: psychosocial – should read psychological ( auto correct fail). NMO and occupation Order are granted immediately to A with powers of arrest attached to B If there is any allegation of a breach. a) all such draconian decisions to be subject to automatic, legally funded appeals to THREE judges in the High Court. I find this reply quite odd for a Barrister. I was missing and abused for 12years, after which I was found and abducted again before being put out on the streets at 16 for having behavioral issues by the parent who claims to have agonized over me missing for so many years gone. A lot of women who were stay at home moms refuse to seek employment all the while expecting the ex husband to fund her ‘accustomed lifestyle’. I’m just imagining all those babies in test conditions getting ‘dosages’ of abuse and neglect under controlled conditions by people watching with clipboards who then can see cause and effect with regular scans to compare with a non-abused and non neglected control group…. As Munby points out, these dangerous and damaged children are our future. I don’t think it is meant that way – but I accept the outcomes may be the same. The system cannot bear all the weight of this. Let me explain again; the professionals have different brain-sets than normal people, for example many of them are totally but wrongly convinced it is their duty to remove children from parents if they think there is an element of risk of significant harm in the future. When you go to court, you can expect that the judge that is hearing your case is impartial and will treat both sides in a fair manner. I think we just don’t talk enough about this and it causes great pain. Its a societal problem that is not going away any time soon. Did the Judge mention the allegations as a factor in the judgement ? Another reason to keep away from it. 24 hours later B removes remaining possessions from property. in this ‘new area of study’ that you are involved with/have been working on. B reports to police as theft. We must all evolve…. Can I ask Fact-seeker what you propose to do with your Research Dissertation when you finish it? It is one of the greatest yet most underrated of all human tragedy I think, that we can become alienated from the other parent of our child, however it happens. Readers with there eyes wide open will now see that I am right. I have already commented on accusations that I am ‘sexist’ in this post, which may also be worth a read if this is something that concerns you. I think in particular this idea that ‘real men’ don’t cry or talk about their feelings. I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I recognize that the court has a responsibility to protect the interest of the child. Under the terms of my original divorce, I was paying my (working) ex wife more than 70 percent of my income for 5 years – a time span equivalent to the entire duration of my short marriage to her. Or do we simply refuse to admit that such a possibility is a problem? Rant over … maybe. Whilst it is true that I wish that I had made better life choices, it nullifies your claimed ‘commiseration’ somewhat for you to point it out don’t you think counsellor? Dear Lisa – thank you for your thoughtful comment, which is much appreciated. I am not trying to be glib or flippant but I suspect it seems that way. I will just add that the research is demonstrating that adult violence and criminality is strongly linked to this brain damage and it comes ditectly from the quality of maternal care in the first two years of a child’s life. I can also tell you of many women left in poverty after men impregnated them and then disappeared. All I can offer is that in my own experiences I have seen people make bogus claims of violence and they were found out. To touch back on the term *Primary Carer* Primary Carer to me means that parent is the one who arranges day-to-day arrangements of the child/children. I don’t think anyone can possibly ‘know’ this – its a matter for the Judge. The father of my children worked away five days per week and I worked full-time. As always, I am willing to put forward an ordinary parent’s opinion. I shall read with interest. At least, that’s what Prof. Sonja Starr’s research on federal criminal cases suggests. The couple should be forced to make a choice. https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWFC/OJ/2018/B64.html, http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0051/00515142.pdf. In a similar way, surely it is reasonable to expect a court system to provide maximally just and equitable outcomes. They are just human beings. They put the interests of their children paramount . The perpetrators are the human equivalent of chameleons , many times putting on a convincing act of being the injured party, some even go as far as to physically injure themselves claiming self defence. This article illustrates challenges in building working relationships with men, including the challenge of avoiding binary thinking in the assessment of fathers as “risk” or “resource.” Drawing on our qualitative longitudinal study of men’s experiences of child protection in England, we highlight how both organizational (clashing time perspectives) and cultural (gendered-thinking) factors can trouble the potential relationship between social workers and fathers. Suffice to say some people handle this pressure better than others; some just give up and shirk their responsibilities; some enter an eternally lossy blame game. See for example Lucy Reed’s plea on Pink Tape. Unfortunately it isn’t possible to make someone reform. Women weren’t forced to go out to work to earn money. The very first step is that we MUST be willing to TALK to each other – not shout over one another. I understand the pain of abandonment however a hostile and toxic ex partner will frustrate all contact with the children and go the extreme of false allegations to destroy ones relationships or indeed their whole life. So what is your point Kirt? . https://www.writersrepublic.com/bookshop/dont-date-crazy-phil-am-dream-runs-american-system ISBN 9781646205196, Your email address will not be published. I repeat that the Family Court allows for the possibility of bias and also has low standards in respect procedural correctness. Absolutely free of charge to the family in need. This paper was written in 2007, but it covers this field of early childhood abuse and neglect quite well, particularly the neurodevelopmental consequences of mistreatment. The conventions and moral imperatives which folk used to follow have gone by the board due to the lack of morals and respect for others taught in school, in my opinion. Expectations were less and a family just had to manage on Dad’s pay packet ( and family allowance). a) the child stays with mother and ,in the case of younger children, especially, this is good because it is a fact of life because they have a much stronger emotional bond and ,of course, a natural physical attachment with Mum who has given birth to the child. Now if one of those same men go to a family court then they are automatically assumed to be a cave man. I very much doubt you really know anything about it, because it is so new and also quite technical. In real families ,all members of a family have to show each other a substantial amount of tolerance . I have not seen my children since that meeting in 2006. Hearing, my point is a dangerous fallacy irksome to professionals, I suggest you seek and accept the of! 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